Masculine & Feminine DIFFERENCEs

Below are some of the basic differences between masculine and feminine energies. Please note, a woman can be the masculine energy in any relationship as can a mister mom type man.  Gay relationships have this dynamic playing out as well. This is NOT about sexuality so the words man and woman below are interchangeable with masculine and feminine. Knowing this dynamic is battling out beneath the surface of all relationships in the workplace and at home is important. In fact, if you can appreciate the energies involved and cultivate them, whether it's within yourself, your partner, or your boss, you're going to continue to be able to cultivate polarity (and thus chemistry) in the relationship.    

Masculine Energy

Take Big Things & Make Them Small:

A man’s mission is to take things that are really big, and conquer them, control them (essentially making them small or at least seemingly small). 

Examples: “I'm going to conquer the world in a day!” “I'm going to buy the Empire State Building and run it.  No big deal!” 

Physical feats (lifting weight, martial arts, anything physical that can be compared to someone else’s accomplishment)

Break Free & Achieve Freedom:

A man’s mission is to empty out (experience emptiness) and let go.  He must ‘let out’ whatever is within him.

Breaking free achieves a sense of emptiness.  When there are constraints, problems, and issues, a man must push past the edges (‘push the envelope’), breaking free, defying the constraints and experiencing emptiness and freedom.

Flourishes with Challenge:

If you challenge or confront masculine energy, it flourishes and expands.  Man rises to a challenge.

Feminine will not expand when challenged. It will shrink.

If you are a masculine man dealing with a feminine partner and you keep challenging her all the time (to help her ‘improve’), her energy will shrink and she will feel small (possibly feeling repressed), or she'll become masculine (then you’ve created a man).

Sets up Constraints to Find Freedom:

Masculine energy is about control. A man’s desire is to break through those controls and constraints (real or imaginary). He’s going to ‘test the edges’.

A man will set up a structure (or a constraint) and then break through it. He’ll use all his energy to fight through the constraints and find freedom. 

A masculine man you may dominate his mate (ideally out of love, controlling her for the sake of love rather than for the sake of pure control). Feminine energy needs presence and 100% focus. If she knows he’ll stay focused, she'll surrender.  If not she’ll fight him or stray herself.

Wants to Possess Territory:

A man is a ‘dog marking his territory’. He wants to possess the feminine woman he’s with. 

Force of Direction: 

Masculine energy is the force of one, specific focus or direction. A man is like a train on a track (a locomotive that can't be stopped). 

The mission is paramount to a man... a focus on a future moment in time, a target.


Masculine ‘moves in and releases’.

Masculine energy takes the initiative.    It's the self-starter within them. 

Wants to Feel Appreciated:

Masculine wants to be appreciated for having broken through those constraints like, "Hey did I do good?"

Knows How to Let Go:

Masculine possesses a “Leave the past behind you” attitude. Masculine lets it go, and walks away.  


Feminine Energy

Take Small Things & Make Them Big:

A woman’s focus is to to deepen everything. They'll take the smallest stuff and amplify it (or ‘blow it out of proportion’).  

Examples: “Oh, look at that beautiful flower!  Isn't that beautiful!” (The flower becomes her whole world in that moment.) 

(From an argument...) “Why did you say it in that way? Why did you use that word? I can’t believe how insensitive you are!” While men will often put women down, “She's crazy!  She's completely off her rocker! She's nuts! Is she stupid? I just said one word and she's blowing it out of proportion! What is wrong with her?” 

Fill up With Love, Energy & Attention:

A woman’s desire is having things ‘fill her up’ inside - to experience the depth of filling up with everything.

In order to ‘fill up’ she must surrender to the energy of the moment. With a man,  surrendering to his masculine energy. She may create devotion and surrender, as masculine energy will not surrender.

Feminine energy is about being dominated by (or surrendering to) the energy she’s filling up with.

Flourishes with Praise:

If a woman is always praising her man, he’ll probably like that, but if she doesn't do anything to challenge him, he’ll lose interest in her (she’s no longer a challenge) and he'll move onto the next challenge (an affair, work, friends, other accomplishments).  Masculine must find challenge. The other possibility is that he becomes feminine -- or emasculated, which will fail to attract her in the long run. 

Yearns to be Owned or Possessed:

A woman desires to be taken, filled up, ravaged, to surrender to a man who is doing it out of love, if he’s willing to stay 100% focused on her alone. 

It may sound bad to be owned, possessed, and surrender to controls that are imposed upon you.  However, if you are trying to take control or impose controls on yourself, you’re being masculine.  Instead, feminine energy looks for external masculine force(s) that will impose upon her and yearns to appreciate the full force and focus of the dominating masculine energy.

Seeks to Possess What She Can't Have on Her Own:

She wants to be able to ‘ride’ a masculine energy’s unwavering, powerful force of direction and purpose. If she likes where a man’s mission is leading she’ll desire to ‘get on board’. She wants to possess territory through her partner's masculine energy.

Force of Energy:

Feminine goes in all directions at once. A circular, more chaotic energy system (Everywhere, unfocused, but powerful - a storm -- thunder rather than a bolt of lightning).

Feminine is the ocean, while masculine is the boat that's rolling through the ocean’s waves.     


Feminine desires to take in the initiator and ‘fill up’.  The feminine woman may be a wallflower, waiting for the masculine to   initiate. 

The beauty of feminine is doing nothing, just being. She’s able to receive energy, live life now, and take in all that's available.

Wants to Feel Understood:

Feminine wants to feel connected with their partner. She desires to feel like he understands her and her feelings, not her accomplishments.

Hangs on to Things:

Feminine energy remembers everything because they're hanging onto the emotions of those experiences which reinforces the memory. Feminine is not about letting go. 

For more coaching, or to figure out the difference between men and women and how this is helping or henderin you work, relationship or happiness, set up a time to talk with me today.