Secret Rules for a Successful Life

Rule #1: Tip toe if you must but take a step

Sometimes the smallest steps in the right direction end up being the biggest changes of your life. It’s not always the actual step that leads to the the transition. When you take action, you have a swirl of energy and focus that moves you in ways you may never expect.  If you want a relationship, create an online profile on a dating website. You will see a shift in your energy and your vulnerability.  This will allow you to meet Mr./Mrs. Right in the grocery store or at the post office.  It would not have been possible without the small step toward becoming open.

Rule #2 Know your "why"

Your "WHY" is everything in life. It's what makes us do all that we've done and it shapes what we want.  If you can really dig deep to understand you WHY -- really understand what has propelled you to do the many things you have done in life and how this helped create failures and success -- you can adjust your WHY with new habits.  Your soon to be "old WHY" has been reinforced for many years. You will find your WHY to be pretty fascinating! It shaped most of your decisions and has been the driving force of your ambitions. If you can really get to the WHY you will be able to change it. Here’s the key to finding your WHY: keep asking yourself WHY did you do... till you get to an answer.

Example:

I took this job. WHY?

I wanted the promotion. WHY?

I wanted to manage a team. WHY?

It makes me feel important, WHY?

My mom is a manager of a team and that’s how a gauge my own success. WHY?

I really wanted my mom’s approval throughout the years and I base decisions on what will gain me her praise.  

So your WHY is to make mommy happy? YES.  

Do you want to live you life to make mommy happy? NO, NOT ANYMORE.

It has gotten you pretty far in life so far, do you want to make a change now? YES.

Rule #3 Plan, Analyze and Articulate

If you create a vision, a plan, or a goal, the chance of reaching that goal is proven to be higher.  If you have idle notions in your head about what you might want, it will likely stay just there, in your head.  Making a plan means writing it out (even in your smart phone would work).  Look at what the actual goal is you want to achieve. Find out what is preventing you from success. Ask yourself what are the steps needed to get to this goal. Look again and see if the steps are really needed to achieve your goal. Talk with trusted friends or family (or your coach of course) about your goal. Speaking your goals aloud is a powerful force. When doing this, be open to support from others to achieving your goals. Creating a plan will help you figure out what may be preventing you from achieving your goal.  This allows you to have a solid road map toward your dreams.

Rule #4 Make Space for a Great Life.

If you are able to make space for things you want in your world you’ll attract these things to your life  If you are working like crazy and want more balance, find a way to make space for balance (maybe plan your departure from work each day as if you have plans even if you don’t).  If you are too busy to date, carve out some space and time for a special someone to be part of your life. If you are always taking care of others, carve out a day each week that’s your day to do what you want (and really commit to it).  If you make the space for the things you want, you will see some magic happen.

Rule #5 Live in the Now

Worry of the future is a red flag.  Worry is a fear.  A fear is a belief.  What’s the worry? What fear does it represent? What is the belief that supports that fear?  More often than you would think, a worry is based on a fear and the belief supporting that fear is not rational.  Embrace a new belief and the fear (and worry) will go away.  

Example:

Worry: Spider is going to attack me.

Fear: Spiders.

Belief: the spider, 10 feet away, is going to magically create a web from the corner of the room to my face over a period of time shorter than my ability to move my head and it will go inside my eyeball and eat out my brains.

Alternative Belief: I can probably get away from any spider.

Living in fear and worry is living in failure.  There is ZERO positive benefit from sustained worry or fear. The result will always be stagnation and paralysis. Tackle any worry ASAP. Note: if you have a bad feeling about a dark alley, dont walk down it.  But don't focus on all the potential dark alleys every time you walk at night or you will never make it where you are going.

Rule #6 Get Help

There are many tools on this site to help you.  Blog post on health, success, and relationships.  Take the free personality assessment above and get a professional readout of how your skills help or hinder your goals.