What do you feed your kids? The reason for asking the question is, whatever you feed your kids today, is what will become their comfort food as they grow up. If you honor yourself enough to feed yourself well, you will want to allow the same for your kids as well.
This is one of the major challenges parents face today, as the same could be said for the thoughts and physical intimacy as well. Whatever you are, feeding their minds with today, they will revert to the same as references when they are stuck in their lives at any point of time. Human beings have this thing with their childhood memories; it makes them go back to their past for references to deal with their own challenges. This is why; anything that you feed them today, the thoughts, the food, the behavior becomes their reference point when they are stuck. So, what is it going to be? Do you want them to revert to a cold distant relationship (that you may have had with your spouse), when they look for a reference for their own relationship issues?
It is completely up to you. If you want, your kids to grow up happy and healthy, to have good relationships, then show them how to have one. When your kids grow up seeing their parents having a healthy and happy relationship, they turn to those thoughts for advice on how to have healthy and happy relationships for themselves. On the other hand, growing up with their parents’ broken relationship, the kids might end up being cynical, thinking there is no such thing as a good relationship.
I am sure you do not want that for your kids. You can break this cycle today. You are their role model, so you have to act like one. This can be a difficult thing to handle on your own, and this is why you may need coaching as a parent (or as a partner in your relationship). I can help you set the right example for your kids, all you need to do is stop waiting for things to happen on their own and take responsibility of making them happen for you.