Trying to make people quit smoking is a very difficult feat to accomplish. Now that I have your attention, let me try and give you few sarcastic reasons to keep smoking. If you’re still not sure whether you would like to quit smoking or not, here are few reasons for why you shouldn't.
1. Tooth fairy:
With the continuous smoking you are bound to end up having weak teeth which will eventually fall out before they actually should. These lost teeth could help you get more goodies from the tooth fairy and maybe, eventually, you might even get a personal visit.
2. The handy lighter:
The lighter comes in handy not just when the lights go out, but also during those birthday parties to light up those candles on the cake and best of all; almost everyone knows who to ask for a light.
3. Ex-spouse issues:
If your spouse wanted you to quit smoking. Of course this means you should never quit. Do you really want to give them the satisfaction of knowing you finally listened to them?
4. Grandpa’s glasses:
With your eyes getting weaker with every use, you will finally get a use for those specs that grandpa bought, but never got to use.
5. They need the money:
Philip Morris and the other cigarette companies need the money, a lot more than you do, they are making good use of it and they have millions of smokers to serve, they need to keep up the production.
6. Excuse to shop:
The occasional holes that your clothes get from a cigarette burn give you a much-needed reason to go shopping every now and then.
7. The lingering smell:
The lingering smell of cigarettes, clinging to your clothing will help you find them in a mess of laundry.
8. No one likes perfection:
If it wasn't for the vile smoking, you would have been perfect, and perfection is something that no one gets and no one should. Nobody likes perfect.
9. Gives exercise:
If it wasn't for smoking, you would not have to run around places to find a smoking zone every hour and thus you would not have been able to get the exercise that your body needs.
10. Mature looks:
The extra wrinkles and fine lines that you get, on your face due to smoking, gives you a ‘mature’ and ‘experienced’ look. You know you need that, otherwise you would look sweet and who likes looking sweet?
11. Sense of smell:
You know, if your sense of smell stopped working when you started smoking, but came back if you quit, you would have to do something about the neighbor, who cooks delicious food and makes your stomach rumble with hunger.
12. Just breath to feel alive:
The rattling sound that your lungs make every time you breath, makes you sure that you still are breathing and are still alive. People do a lot of things to make themselves feel alive, they jump off cliffs, go paragliding, go for underwater experiences, and what not. Who needs all these, when there is such a simple way of knowing they are alive, right?
I hope with all these great reasons not to quit smoking, you may be sure now that you should continue on lighting it up! However, if you change you mind, I can help either way!